Feeling Mumpalicious?

It seems that developing a new face is the latest trend at Rhodes, making people look like they've rapidly come about an extreme case of first year spread or have a packet of marshmallows shoved in their cheeks. Those who get it on both sides of their face are particularly unfortunate, luckily only my left cheek came victim but it's still one of the worst, most uncomfortable and painful things you can get (depending how bad it hits).


To be honest before I got Mumps I didn't really know what it was so I didn't object when the San told me I had 'ear infection' - yeah right! I was planning on having the week off lectures and being all recovered and on form for Tri-Varsity which I’d been psyching up towards for ages like you all. The week passed though and it only got worse, bed bounding me for 10 days! Clearly my immune system isn't very efficient. I was devastated to hear there isn’t a cure – you just have to take pain killers (which, believe me, are really needed! It’s PAINFUL!)

It’s spread by direct contact with saliva and discharges of the nose and throat of an infected person. No wander it’s spreading like fire, next time you find yourself standing under the air-con at Friars with a cute guy (or girl), think twice! A random score isn’t worth the days of hell to follow. Also, make sure you’re out of coughing and sneezing range, and don’t stand too close when you’re talking too people... the virus is floating around in that air gap between you and dying to dive down your throat too.
Mumps linger in your system 12-25 days before symptoms show. Don’t listen to people who say that the only infectious stage, you’re just as infectious when you’ve got a fat face until the swelling is properly gone. Don’t try function while you’ve got it, the only way to get rid of it is to sleep and let your body build up its own immunity. Unfortunately this means no partying or drinking for a while, and from experience I’ll tell you that it seems like months of not going out (especially when it’s over tri-var weekend!) But don’t be tempted, you’ll just make things worse and there are severe complications like meningitis and infertility.

Apparently the reason why so many people are getting mumps is because parents in the late eighties didn’t get their children vaccinated as rumours said it caused autism. I had the MMR vaccine, so just because you’ve had it don’t go thinking you’re safe, you’re all at risk (except me since I can’t get it again :) ). So if you’ve been an unfortunate victim of mumps, help out your friends who get it, since everyone else will be ducking and diving in all directions to avoid them. Thanks Cit for being the one brave soul to venture into my room, and those who shouted through my door or stood at the window. 10 days of hybernation get extremely boring, especially if your only communication to the outer world is 'facebook'.
If you have it at the moment, hibernate in your room, relax and take advantage of losing a few kg's while you sip on yogi sip (since you can’t chew and don’t have the appetite for anything real anyway). Catch up on all the movies and series you’ve missed out on. Be sure to avoid any acidic drinks, especially lemon juice. Of corse, if there’s anyone who’s been really mean to you or an ex-boyfriend who you’ve yet to take revenge on, make sure you talk to them, but otherwise try keep your distance. It's time to hang those party boots up, but don't worry you'll be back in the game soon and able to continue that Sotally Tober lifestyle (which is probably the reason you got mumps in the first place)!